Lem's space!

What do you do when you're stressed? I think everyone must have some way of dealing with it right or we would just all go completely bonkers! My way is to put on very angry very loud music (how emo do I sound right now!!!!) It's amazing what it does though, it's like all of my "shit I can't deal with this" thoughts dissapear into the song and then I can get on with my day! The only problem is when I don't get the chance to go and have some alone with music time to collect myself because I'll tell you now, beware the wrath of a very angry very stressed Sian!

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we weren't human? And no I'm not talking about "u murdered a poor innocent ant, ur inhuman!", I'm talking about if we were some different creature like a bird or a reptile or a different mammal! Personally I think it'd be pretty interesting to have a day in the life of one of those things! Imagine being able to fly!!! I suppose you'd see the world in a completely different perspective wouldn't you!

I have an "interesting thoughts of Edward Monkton" calendar on my wall and I get all excited to see what the next month will turn out to be. This month it is the deadly donkey!

Beware the deadly donkey
Falling slowly from the sky
You can CHOOSE the way
You LIVE, my friend
But not the way you DIE

I think he's great personally! Go visit him (yeah click his name)! I know many people will just think he's a bit crazy but hey he makes me chuckle and thats something! On the other hand many people would say that I can be made to laugh pretty easily :P!

Ok enough of the randomness, I think I have succesfully convinced everyone that didn't already know that I'm ever so slightly weird so hooray for that!

Over and out!

Mood of the day: restless

Oh P.S by the way I really fancy a mars bar right now! I might actually treat myself to one later!

Do you ever take things in your life for granted? I think there are certain things in life that you feel are pretty constant and although they might slightly change (because nothing is the same forever) you would never expect that they would suddenly fall down around you. When this happens it can be completely heart breaking. Things you usually accept will happen every day slowly start to fade away into nothing. Things in your life start to become memories instead of current events. Gaps end up on your walls and in your life because the thing that fills those gaps has dissapeared. When that change is something that you didn't want to happen in the first place it just makes you feel completely lost. It's even worse when the choice is made for you rather than made by you. You realise that nothing you can say or do can make it go back to the way it used to be, and you long that things were different.

 

Some things you always suspect aren't quite right however. The thing is though, with those particular things, you think you've prepared yourself well but you never realised the ways in which the change you've been willing to happen for a while affects every single aspect of your life. In the end although you know this change will be a positive thing, you still can't help to think about trivial things it will affect.

 

Both types of change however have happened to me recently. It's strange how everything in your life can be constant for such a long time and then it all changes in just a few months. Leaves you feeling at a loss about what to do next. Starts to make you question your beliefs about the way things are and the optimism you may have had for the future makes you feel stupid and pathetic.

 

Over and out.

 

I'm home for the week! I'm really overly excited about it actually! It's not that I really hate uni or anything at the moment, it's actually going fine, but I just LOVE Cardiff!!! I have lots of work to do though! Strangest thing today, I got on the train at Nottingham where it was clear blue skies and absolutely beautiful! It was really autumny and cold but just gorgeous and really making me smile! Then I put my head down to some work for what couldn't be more than 10 minutes. I looked up and everything was all eery and foggy! I felt like I was in a horror film! How can the weather change so suddenly! Also, I kind of got some inspiration for a Lem Toon so next time I have time I'll get it down on paper!

 

In other news, my brother passed his driving test not long ago and gave me a lift back from the station! It's a strange feeling when u realise that ur all growing up! I swear, in my head I am still a 7 year old! Ooo oooo my sister got back from America a few days ago and bought half of New York I'm sure! She bought me this pink t-shirt with toucans on it! I'll have to put a picture up at some point and show u all! It so amazing!

 

Anyhoo I don't have much else to say so.......

 

Over and out!

 

Ok so I've been thinking a lot recently (suprising huh :P?). A week today I'll be back in Notts. Everyone keeps telling my how excited they are to be going back to uni or how they cant wait. I on the other hand love it in Cardiff. I love spending time with my family and the fact that they are always here. I love it that if I'm bored we do something, even if its walking the dog or going to the shop for nothing! I'm really not looking forward to going back to uni and if I can make the days before then last as long as possible that will be superb! It seems strange going back somewhere where I haven't been completely happy. I can just forsee all of the work and the stress and the assignments and the dreaded teaching practice. I don't think I can deal with a bad one of those this year! Anyway I know that it's very negative but it's how I feel! I will get through it and I will finish my degree (results permitting) but it doesn't mean I'll enjoy it! Everyone keeps saying go back thinking positively so maybe I'll give that a try!

 

In other news, I'm trying to be healthy atm, eating things that aren't so bad for me and doing a bit of exercise. When u get out of breath just running down the road u know its time to do something about it! How long it will last I have no idea but hey! I've had this new workout video for a few weeks and have been trying to do it every morning, I even went for a jog tonight, it almost killed me but it's all in the name of becoming fitter and slimmer!

 

I also spent the afternoon today poly-filler-ing the attic walls as there are certain places there have been holes and such from pictures and what not! It's all in preparation to paint it at the weekend! A big spider jumped out at me and my sister earlier while we were watching yet another episode of friends! It was dark and I saw it cascade itself off the wall! Scared the bajeebers out of me! Living in the house that I do everyone was telling me not to kill it with the shoe I had ready in my hand so my sister got me a cup to catch it in. I honestly didn't do it on purpose but as I put the cup over him he moved and I squished him :S. May he rest in peace!

 

Don't u think it's really sad about Richard Hammond. I hope he's ok in the end. I really like him as a presenter, he always made top gear very entertaining and was pretty darn good on brainiac too! Fingers crossed for him!

 

Over and out!

 

Ok so I'm sat here nervous because I'm going to have my hair done. Now most people would think that that's just a stupid reason to get nervous and I'm fully aware that a horrible cut and hair dye will grow out EVENTUALLY whatever happens but it's not so much that. I don't know why I get nervous about trivial things, I'm the same with the dentist (even tho I don't mind going in the slightest), waiting to go meet someone. The weirdest thing is that I get like this before I go and see Paul too, even though he knows me better than anyone and there's nothing I could do to make him shun me (i hope :P). Nervous butterflies and a general OMG! feeling. So I'm sat blogging to try and make the time pass quicker so I don't concentrate on what my belly is doing!

I've had a busy few days meeting up with various friends from different parts of the country. I met up with Han on Thursday and we went shopping woo! Then Yaz came for the weekend and we went on a quest to find crazy duck and take a photo (which may I add we failed miserably at, those pedalos just dont go fast enough!) Then to top it all off, last night I met up with my school friends, some of whom I haven't seen in years. I had a really good night tho and they haven't really changed at all.........well except for the fact they nearly have degrees or are working full time now instead of pissing around doodling in lessons :P. We went bowling which I didn't realise I was so bad at! I lost the first game boo hoooo :( When people like Harrie were in the 100s I was still only just managing to hit the 20s! I blame the fact we didn't have children's barriers! I AM A CHILD! However I got some flukey strikes in the 2nd game and managed to come 3rd out of 5 which isn't that bad!!!

Nothing more!

Over and out!

Mood of the day: nervous!

Ok so I'm sat here waiting for mam to get back from the shop with some magical skittles (*whispers* taste the rainbow!). I'm hoping for those sour ones, although they hurt ur tongue after a while they are rather yummy! I always eat them in a certain order too. I save a few purple and a few red for the end because they are my favourites, then I eat the green ones first as they're icky, then yellow, orange and finally the reds and purples. Then again I've just had a thought, sour skittles may be different colours to normal skittles as I think they have pink ones in them. Hmmmm we'll have to wait and see. I wonder if anyone else puts as much thought into eating their sweets. I know for sure that some people (u know who u r) just put as many in their mouth as possible!

I'm having a strange day, whereas most things have been fine, including work which I'm really enjoying at the moment if I haven't already mentioned, but there are certain tiny little things that are niggling at my brain and making me slightly down. I'm trying to push them away tho! It's my last week of work this week which in a way is fabulous as I get to spend some time doing things for me! However, I will definitely miss it, think of all the resources I will lose by leaving :O! The people I work with are lovly and the kids arent too bad either! Maybe I should leave uni and become a full time play worker! How fun would that be! Then again maybe not!

Ooooo Paul came down this weekend. It was lovely to see him after such a long time. Nothing replaces a Paul hug I'll tell u that for nothing! I just love spending time with him, he makes me feel safe and most important of all he makes me smile.Whilst we were at tesco I saw the most amazing pencil case. It's a cow shape, well he's a long cow obviously seeing as he has to fit pencils in his belly but he's very cute! I had to buy him of course! I might post a picture for u lovely people to see at some point but not now :P

Anyhoo I'm gonna stop the babbling and finish eating the green ones!

Over and out.

Mood of the day: Okely pokely!